2018 Handover

2017 is handing over control of events to 2018. Here's the convo

2017: Jesus f**king Christ, thank f**k that's over
2018: Ha ha! What's happened like?
2017: You wouldn't believe the mountain of shite the last bloke left me with
2018: Who? 2016? I've just seen him. He's out on the lash with 1939. Off his tits
2017: Off his f**king tits? OFF HIS F**KING TITS? That c**t left me Trump and Brexit to sort out
2018: Ha ha! How'd you get on?
2017: Well I've been able to just let Trump get on with it. There's this Twitter thing he's using. He's making an absolute tit of himself. It's like he's trying to impeach himself
2018: And Brexit?
2017: Luckily the f**kers in charge of it are maniacs. I'm just going with the flow.
2018: Have you tried changing peoples minds?
2017: Ha ha! What them daft twats? Don't be ridiculous. I convinced that May bird to hold a general election though. I did some weird hypnosis stuff when she was up a hill in Wales. Hook, line and f**king sinker. Daft tw*t only fell for it

pauses

2017: I've done a thing with Corbyn as well.
2018: Ha ha! F**k off. That daft old communist fucker?
2017: Ah nah, man. Ah nah. I only made the f**ker electable. I swear down.
2018: How the f**k did you manage that?
2017: I did f**k all. Just let the mental Tories do their stuff. It's been a piece of piss really.
2018: So what do I need to sort out?
2017: Well Trump and Brexit will take care of themselves but you could have a look at curing cancer and maybe f**king up Boris Johnson a bit? Also there's a takeover of Newcastle United in the offing. You obviously need to f**k that up.
2018: Ha ha! Remember when 2007 made the f**kers think they had a billionaire and gave them that Ashley tw*t?
2017: Proper lolzies. Aye. the daft c**ts
2018: Anybody I need to kill?
2017: Nah mate. 2016 went crackers with the killing shit

pauses

2017: maybe Farage

Women and the Working Mans Club

A few years ago, I took to writing to the local papers and some websites, predominantly because I was bored and  stuck in a loveless marriage. Ha ha! As I am again bored I thought I'd post some stuff as a blog for my own entertainment. Most of the stuff was about football but I found this one (which got letter of the week in the Sunday Sun if remember rightly) about women wanting entry to CIU Clubs.



From Feb 2006

I noticed in last weeks edition that Equality Minister (whatever that is?) Meg Munn is drawing up a Green Paper which will outlaw the rules in working men's clubs stopping women from entering the bars.

Oh dear me!  Aside from being nonplussed as to why any right minded female would want to frequent such an establishment, I see it from a different angle.

The rules as they stand, at first glance, seem to have been introduced to allow men to be men and not have to worry about offending a lady with coarse language and unruly behaviour. But there is another point of view.

The regulations also give wives throughout the land some peace of mind when their menfolk go out on the hoy. "Whats this chauvinistic pig on about?", I hear you cry.

Well it's this. There is no danger of the local strumpet getting her claws into the otherwise happily married man who lets his guard slip just because he's had a few! At least so long as she's not allowed in the room. You see, the rule exists not just for the men but also the women. That makes things equal, doesn't it?

My message to all you Meg Munn's out there is this..... Be careful what you wish for!